A lot of effort is expended by Christians talking about the problem of pornography (we hear of the scourge of porn, the  and damages of porn ) and so little effort on what to do about it, at least on a personal level.

 

 

 

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Last week on  Catholic Answers Live, I interviewed a young man with a plan. Denver-Based Everett Fritz has written a combat manual, titled Freedom: Battle Strategies for Conquering Temptation. It’s a slightly misleading title for two reasons: a) women stuck in the porn rut will profit much from Fritz’s insights into the habit cycle that feeds porn use; and b) it’s not focused on generic “temptation” but sexual sin in particular. Which is a good thing. (Have you noticed how preachers avoid the S word when listing different kinds of sins? You’d think gluttony and avarice are the biggest, most secret vices today.)

HERE is the interview, followed by live callers.

The real solution to addictive or compulsive porn use involves steering clear of two extremes:1) moralizing without mercy (“that’s a mortal sin! Repent or perish!”); 2) excusing through therapy-speak (“you have a disease no different than influenza or diabetes”).

What does the middle ground — the golden mean — look like?

It looks like hard work, and a complete reliance on the grace of God.

Fritz’s hilariously titled chapter, “Dump Your Fake Girlfriend,” identifies the role played by porn in the lives of so many men today, married and single, and how to begin to be set free, by…..

Dumping it.

If you want to get rid of porn, and all its pomps and all its works and all its empty promises, you have to decide now to dump it now — not a) negotiate better terms with it; not b) wish it away; and not c) use the Sacrament of Confession as a car wash — where the cleanliness is 1/1o0o of an inch deep — while the “interior” (a symbol of the mind and heart) is untouched by grace and a firm purpose of amendment. Dumping means removing access.

So do you or a loved one a huge favor. Start with the a test drive of the best blocker and accountability software on the market (my opinion after trying options and researching alternatives): COVENANT EYES. (This link gets you a 30-day free trial.) Would you let a maniac have access to your front door to molest you or your children? Duh — no. So why would you let the maniacal porn industry have access through the internet? Everyone with a mobile device, laptop, or home computer, has the world’s largest collection of pornography in his hands.

The most terrifying, often illegal, pornographic images are one click away.

I was on a staff retreat once, led by Father Paul Check of Courage International. He said many insightful things on that retreat but one that stuck with me is: “God is not harmed by our sins. He’s God. The reason sin is offensive to Him is that it has the power to destroy what He loves most.”

What does He love most?

You. And me.

Be a saint, what else is there?

Patrick

PS.  I’m writing a free e-book on how to stay cool and calm when the arguments heats up. Stay tuned!